On September 19th. 2022, My 48th birthday, Nita kicked me out of a Vegas Hotel room just before Midnight. She started an argument during dinner and it lasted the rest of the night. Eventually she started screaming and insisted I leave the hotel room or that she wold call the police. I was slow getting dressed and gathering my things to leave, she grabbed my bag and tried to throw it out, but before she could throw it I pulled it from her grasp. She took a swing, I ducked away and turned to go towards the door. I was only partially dressed and she pushed me in the back so that I tripped to the floor, she continued to shove me until I was across the threshold and in the hotel hallway. I spent the night at the airport and flew home the next day. We wouldn’t speak for almost two months, but when we did and it lead to reconciliation, from then on I was always afraid of what would happen whenever she would get angry.

That night she SCREAMED, gaslight and acted violently in ways that were frightening and then blame me for her actions. After that day I started getting into the habit of using my camera to record scary moments as a means of protection. Not to provoke her but because I was genuinely afraid. I also hoped that once she was more calm I could show her why this behavior wasn’t healthy.

Instead it seems to only intensify each situation. You don’t have to read everything I write about this experience, these videos presented in order tell a story all on their own.

Particularly violent events include:

11.14.2023 She gets angry when I looked at my phone while we were watching a movie, she goes on to trash parts of my kitchen breaking things clearing off the top shelf of a pantry bookcase, then proceeds to pull out her phone to record and accuse me of doing it.

02.16.2024 Assaults me and refuses to leave my home, this video follows up to the moment just before a final altercation and police arrive. She falsely accuses me of SA to justify to her actions and the police warn me of her history of her pervious SA accusations.

09.07.2024 Assaulted while driving on I-5 resulted in Harassment charge for Nita

12.15.2024 Assaults me when she asked me to diagnose a leak from her washing machine, but moments after opening the panel to look she screams and assaults me

I had often provided transportation to the airport for her in the past since she does not drive, and this time was no different, at least in intention. What followed, however, turned out to be a calculated and deeply traumatizing event, both emotionally and physically

That morning, Nita seemed unusually agitated and critical. I arrived early to be helpful and calm her travel stress. After being told to sit on her couch while she finished getting ready, I stood briefly to check on the usual pre-departure items she often asked me to verify in the past, whether appliances were off, the doors were locked, and her keys and purse were together. She suddenly accused me of getting up “to attack her.” I tried to explain that I was only trying to help, but any answer I gave that wasn’t simply “I’m sorry” was labeled as “arguing.” This has been a recurring pattern in our relationship, where disagreement is treated as aggression.

Despite her accusations, I continued the drive as planned. We stopped at Dutch Brothers where I bought us both coffee. Initially, we were supposed to have lunch together as one last quality moment before her trip, but given her escalating behavior, I silently prepared to drop her off at the airport instead.

I was silent between us for roughly 30 minutes into the drive, near the Canby exit on I-5, Nita began yelling again, demanding that I repeat her false claim that I had “gotten up to attack her.” When I calmly refused and told her I was only there to support her, she threatened to throw her hot coffee on me if I didn’t comply. I asked her not to. She held the cup over me and said if I didn’t repeat her next words she would pour it all over me. When I said “no” she immediately threw the coffee in my face while I was driving over 65 MPH, and then grabbed the second drink and threw that one as well.

In shock and pain, I tried to safely pull off to the shoulder. She rolled down the window and threw the empty cups out, then took my wallet from the center console and threw it into the middle of the freeway. I saw it tumble across the highway in the rearview mirror, scattering my cards and ID. I exited the vehicle, dodging cars to retrieve what I could.

When I returned, she had gotten out and was dragging her carry-on along the shoulder of I-5. I drove ahead and begged her to get back in so I could take her to the next exit and help her call an Uber. She got into the back seat, but soon began screaming again, saying she was being “trapped,” and called 911.

At the exit, I immediately pulled over and let her out. The police arrived shortly after. While they were speaking with me, Nita fled the scene via an Uber before they could interview her. She made her flight and was posting about her Arizona vacation just hours later, as if nothing had happened.

I remained with law enforcement for nearly two hours while they attempted to reach her. By the time they got her on the phone, she was already boarding. I suffered a broken nose from a blow she inflicted on me during the incident, causing lasting migraines and sinus issues for nearly two months. My prescription glasses were damaged, and she never returned my belongings, including a guitar I left at her home. She was never prosecuted for the assault a victim advocacy group reached out to me to tell me this only months afterwards. They said the DA lacked enough evidence to support a case against her and something about not being able to establish jurisdiction because it happened while I was driving. The fact that she has faced no consequences for these acts is beyond my comprehension.

Later, she admitted she had intentionally used this moment to break up with me, claiming I “deserved to be alone” on my birthday. This was just another time she ended things shortly after I made a significant financial investment in a shared experience.

12:38 minute video, We reconciled November 18, 2022 that I initiated, but her arguments over previous grievances and social media exposure intensify, In this video she is abusive by comparing me to a previous boyfriend, she spends more time berating me than actually getting organized to leave.

In this video Nita is verbally abusive to both me and my children.

She gets aggressively into my face to intimidate me and refuses to back away. I ask her to back up multiple times and she refuses.

My kids have just arrived for the Christmas holiday, and we’re due to leave the next morning. I ask her repeatedly to calm down and not let them hear her, but she just yells loudly down the hallway where their rooms are insulting me and my mother.

This is one day after she got drunk and lost her wallet, which she blamed me for. Yet she still comes back to stay the night at my house, but tonight it seem like she’s just there to me mean.

More Verbal Abuse.

She started insulting my tattoos and making wide generalizations meant to provoke me and try to deescalate the situation, there is a moment where we pulled on a stuffed animal tied around her waist, I thought it was only velcro but she exaggerates the situation.

I admit I got home late, but her emotional state was through the roof. I had started to fall asleep next to her only to wake up to her screaming in my ears. I ran away from her and locked myself in the bathroom, but she kicked the door in, I came out begging for her to stop, I put my arms out to in an effort of try to offer a hug her, but she thrashed about, I held on moment but realized within a second that she wouldn’t allow it, I let go and she fell to the floor, I turn to go back to my room and she cased me scratching the back of my neck. At that point I grabbed her back pack and tossed it towards her feet and told her to leave. Her plastic water bottle broke inside of her bag, this enraged her and she ran to the front room picked a microphone, stand and all and threw it into the front window of my home.

She would continue to chase me around my house and refuse to leave, pushing for more physical altercations, she shoved the broken water jug into my face, that I swatted it away, it ricocheted into her face and body, she ran away like I had purposfully tried to strike her claiming I “busted her lip”. I went and got tissue for her and tried to see if she was hurt, the only thing that came off with she pressed tissue to her lip was her lip gloss. But she exaggerated the act and reported me to police the next day. In her account in the police report she make no mention of anyone breaking the window. She completely leaves that part out. It was as if it didn’t happen to her.

One this day out of nowhere she stabbed an ice cream container violently out of nowhere and tried to blame it on my son. We both watched her do it. We had only been reconciled for just over a month after she wen’t to Mexico without me. But this evening she starts a fight, only for me to discover later that she needed to be free to meet someone else for Make Music Day. Making it clear despite her efforts to reconnect, she was going to date other people and cheat on me regularly.

This evening cruelty was just a way to be free for another guy the next day.

This video comes in two parts, first is early in the morning when she’s angry that I didn’t wake up quickly or have any specific plans.

In the second part I confront her cheating once again, and ask for transparency of relationship. She set’s an expectation of one year before she’’ll do that and admist to keep our relationship a secret.

Here is when she starts becoming more and more comfortable being violently abusive. She gets angry and me for checking my phone while we watched a movie, and in the ensuing argument she get’s up and trashes parts of my kitchen, clearing off an entire shelf of a pantry bookcase in my kitchen.

She then turns her phone camera on and claims that I did it. Gaslighting and accusing me of threatening to hit her. This is one of the prime examples of her abusive behavior where she justifies breaking personal items because I didn’t do exactly what she said.

This patter would only intensify from here on out.

The evidence of her abusive behavior was mounting, I was begging for counseling and for her to be honest about her mental health issues, lack of control and spiraling moments. Suddenly the reason for her behavior was justified by accusing me of being sexually coercive when I pushed back against those claims she elevated it to “rape”, and insisted I agree with her assertions. She starts conflating conversations and consensual moments, rewriting those moments into something I cannot reconcile with.

This video is in two parts.

This was Jaden’s first day on his first job at a local grocery store and I had promised to give him a ride to work. Instead Nita refuse to get out of my car making me late to pick him up. It’s another moment when she refuses to allow me space or to take care of my responsibilities. When she refuse to get out of my car I head home and home she stops arguing when my son is in the car, I go home to find he decided to walk and not be late.

She throws my phone from the car at one point and I had to pull over to retrieve it. She gets so hysterical that she started kicking and puching the large display screen of my Tesla. The repairs were $150 where the technician describe the mounting bolts and being “completely bent”

This short clip shows me as I retreated to my bedroom where she knows a surveillance camera now sits, that I had to have installed due to her behavior, but she instead runs to the kitchen clears off and entire shelf of the pantry again, trying to break several jars of expensive olives she just encouraged me to buy, and then ripping out the top shelf of my dishwasher destroying several dishes, coffee mugs and sentimental items, including a dish my grandmother gave me. She passed in 2006!

But again because she triggered she destroys my property.

I woke up to her angry about a joke I made a week prior, I looked at her and told her I loved her and wouldn't change anything and tried to give her and hug and kiss, she sat up and scratched me and started screaming in my face. I covered my ears, my right hand was broken from a basketball injury only ten days prior. she yanked at my hand and dug her nails into me. I got up and told her to leave. I needed to be in a work meeting and tried to disengage, but she was disruptive during the entire meeting in which I needed to pay attention. She refused to leave my home despite me asking her multiple times to do so. It escalates to the point where I knocked her phone from her hand. I had been assaulted and was protecting myself from further injury as she closed in on me. it was a bad thing to do, it enraged her further. The video ends with me coming back into the hallway and I can see her phone is not broken and I tried to look at it, she once again grabbed my broken finger and wrenched it violently. I picked her up and ushered her out of the front door. I held her back as she pushed to get back inside, but got back inside first then closed and locked the door behind me, she flopped herself onto the grass of my front yard and started crawling like she couldn't walk any more. I went back outside to tell her she needed to calm down, that she could come back inside to get dressed but she needed to leave. She was on the phone calling 911 and the police arrived moments later. They took her away in an ambulance and they left me at home with with no charges to either of us. In the police report she made claims I raped her, but the police found no evidence. In the police report her statements are erratic and not consistent with SA accounts, they have to redirect her back to the questioning while she argues about why I was wrong in the argument. She also was described as possibly faking her injury, when the medics arrive she acted like she couldn't walk but then when they brought out the gurney, she got up unassisted to climb on to it.

A few months later I took a planning road trip across the county to NY with plans to drive down to Washington DC before traveling back. She decided to get on a plane and meet me in Manhattan. Less than 4 months after accusing me of rape to the police she spent several hundred dollars to share rooms and vacation together. Except she again created drama. Criticizing my planning and inability to get a particular reservation she wanted. I was able to get in later in the evening but just not at the prime time she wanted. We still went to see Hamilton on Broadway, and the Broadway lounge overlook Times Square it was just after the show.

She spent a fair amount of time trying to walk away and lose me when we were in Central Park, but she eventually settled down and we walked to the Nintendo store and sought out bakeries she wanted to try. When we went to DC it was the same, the first night was okay, but the next day she would turn a small thing into a large argument where she walked away from me and this time I let her go.

I decided to walk back to our Hotel and get my things so I could find another room for the night. Except she had locked me out of the room, and I wasn’t on the room order for the concierge to give me access. I would wait several hours before she would finally respond and offer to get dinner together. She acted like she had settled down and I started suffering a migraine. After dinner we went back to our room and I discovered souvenirs I bought in NY were missing. I still wasn’t feeling well so I took a shower and tried to relax and reported my items missing to the hotel.

The next day I took her to the airport and she flew home. As I got back on the road it took me a few days to notice several other items were missing from my luggage. Very specific items, both my work phone, and the power source for my work laptop. She targeted my ability to do my job from the road, knowing that my road trip might go longer than I intended I had brought my equipment, just in case. Except because she stole my equipment I wouldn’t be able to.

I would end up driving 44 or the final 48 hours it would take me to get home to ensure I got there in time for work. I arrive back home just before 3 am the night before I was due to be back at work at 8 am.

Incident on September 7, 2024

On August 12, 2024, I secured a birthday trip to Las Vegas from September 17–20, with encouragement from my then-partner, Nita Kumar. She had helped me find a good deal at a luxury resort—one neither of us had been to before. It was meant to be a celebratory trip for my 50th birthday.

Just weeks later, on September 7, 2024, I was driving Nita to the airport for her own solo trip to Arizona to visit a high school friend (scheduled from September 7–10).

This is nearly two hours of her tormenting me. She called three days after pouring hot coffee in my car, punching me and throwing my wallet on to the highway. Based on the police reports she had to answer to the police investigation she initiated with her 911 call. Her false statements and the video evidence above showed a cognitive dissonance with what happened in the car and the statements she made. The responding officer referred the case the the DA in Clackamas county to charge her with harassment. So she called me to try to coerce statements that would support her growing narrative that I raped her.

During this call we argue and I push back against everything, but most of all I ask for a guitar that I left at her house. She torments me but destroying it over the phone, such that you can hear the wood splintering as she says “it’s destroyed”

2 hours is a lot for anyone to listen to, but I will soon upload a transcript to identify time signature that are important to this body of evidence. There’’s honestly a lot to go through and she admits to a lot of things subversely. I need to examine this further.

Another call, I ment to leave a voice mail but she surprisingly answered and we had another tense conversation. This needs examined further as well.

This recording documents an emotionally charged confrontation in which Nita starts with arguing over whether or not I shouldbe on a dating app, despite her assaulting me just weeks earlier and treating me the way she has, just because we had a couple of weeks of getting along she tells me that I shouldn’t be on app, that I need to earn any relationship I might want with her.

SHe insults my mother and tells me she hopes she dies soon. When I don’t submit to what she wants me to say she escalates, accuses me of rape, says I did it 4 times, then it increases to 5 when I don’t submit.

Over and over again the accusations overwhelm me, her demands that I adopt her exact characterization of events, rejects any level of mutual understanding, at first she acts like she’ll jump from a moving car to frighten me and force me into submission, then when I pull over you can see her with a closed fist threatening to punch me if I don’t submit to her version of the even

But I have never committed an such act. I pursued my girlfriend as any man does, I always accepted the times she said “no” because taking any chance of upsetting her could lead to outburst, gaslighting, and violence. I recognized that her emotional volatility is due to a mental health imbalance, and my attempts to uncover more information about her mental health and her past lead to these accusations. If we were talking about my behavior we never had any reason to question hers.

This shows the pattern of coercive control that I was trapped in. We still worked together at this point, She was smearing me at every turn, posting on her social media calling me out indirectly, but also seemed to be telling people I worked with details of our relationship, except her version of event has always villainized me. I was trying to find a way to make things better between us, but she wasn’t allowing for any version of events where I wasn’t made into a monster.

Attacked after opening the baseboard panel of her washing machine. She had asked me to investigate a leak, but the moment I touched the machine this happened. The panel had only been open for about 60 seconds, I couldn't find any evidence of a leak and called her over. She started yelling, I already had my phone in my hand using the flashlight. She had assaulted me before so I started recording as soon as the yelling started.

In the moments there are some very telling behaviors that can be seen. First is that she has grown comfortable being abusive towards me. When I don’t repeat back her exact words, which would have me admitting to “breaking her washer” and paying her money, which had started to become a reoccurring theme in our arguments, that I needed to pay her if I wanted to be able to speak my side. Those instances will be show in text messages as the chapters come out.

But here in this video I repeatedly try to deescalate but fall short of admitting to doing anything wrong. She pushes me over when I was on my knees trying to take a picture of the internal parts of the machine as she accuses me of wrong doing. Then she takes my tools away from me, while telling me to leave, she comes back and starts stabbing me with the blunt end of the screwdriver I was using. After that she corners me father into the apartment and refuses to stop. She actually at one point says “I will not deescalate!” and the only thing that stopped her was when her neighbors intervened to save me.

In the arresting reports she makes more false statements that frame me as aggressive, but the video and witness statements from her neighbors support that she is the aggressor in more than just this instance.

I finally lose my mind here. She had spent the previous two and half weeks staying at my house, she know I had paid for a Vacation stay at the Oregon Coast for the long holiday weekend and called to see if she could be a part of it. I told her she was welcome to come if we could get along. So for two week she was nice as could be. The the day after we got back form the coast I was driving between corvallis and Salem coming from my son’s basketball game when she called and was raging at me for not calling her sooner. She was screaming and I told her not to come to my house if she wasn’t going to calm down.

But she arrived anyway. She started pounding on my front door and appear to try to kick it in it use her shoulder to force it open. She would bend the wire frame of the door as a result.

I told her again though the door that she needed to wait until she was calm, that I didn’t want to let her in because she’s been violent in the past. I was afraid of her.

She then forced her way in through the garage door. The large door was partially open and shel let, herself into the garage, then forced her way past the garage interior door which has a lock that wouldn’t always latch at the time.

I hear my son call out that she’s in the house, she’s grabbed my car keys and headed back out of the house. I didn’t know what she would do. I pursued her and wrestled my car keys from her hand. As soon as I got a hold of them she flopped like I was attacking her, but my neighbor across the street was watching the whole time. I started recording her again as I try to ask her to leave, offering to bring her the things she’s asking for if she would just get out of my house.

This person who now claims that I’m the violent abusive person in our relationship again refuses to leave my home even as I get as yell and tell her we’re calling the police. You can see her realizing that she may have crossed a line. I pull her from the garage and try to get my son to close the door, she struggles to get away from me and goes back in to the garage again! We have to open the door again, hold her back and then close the door all the way.

I went back inside, grabbed her phone and backpack that she dropped running through my house when she grabbed my keys. When I stepped ooutside to give them to her the police had just arrived.

They separated us and got our statements, and let us both go. They didn’t seem interested in charging her at the time as she was saying all she was trying to do was get her stuff during a bad break up.

But I attest again that this person is currently smearing me and claiming I’m dangerous, that when she hold events she needs to inform coordinators for her safety, that she is a victim of domestic violence in our relationship, yet she refused to leave my hose on multiple occasions. She shows repeatedly by her confrontational behavior that she was not afraid to show up uninvited and make demands.